people uncomfortable. But if I’m honest I think it’s amazing. I’ve always been attracted to the idea of hybrids. I like how certain aspects of my body marry images of masculinity and femininity together in a very striking way.
Relationships
I’ve always been with men. As a straight woman I was always turned on by the idea of bisexual men but I never had access to any. So when I began to transition there was a window where I still had the option of compromising my gender identity by trying to attract straight men based on my body parts. Because my transition happened very quickly (after about 4 months on testosterone I was passing consistently wherever I went) when that window closed it closed quite abruptly.
I was working with a guy named Chris who I had a huge crush on. He knew I was gay, and I knew he was straight. I was still early in transition so I told him I was Trans thinking that information would be enough to get him to look past the fact that I was male. But it wasn’t. I was shocked by this and hurt as well. I was suddenly confronted by the fact that straight men were no longer attracted to me. This realization meant a lot of things for me. It meant that I was now cut off from an entire group of people who I had based all of my flirting and socializing patterns around. It also meant that the only men now available to me were gay and bisexual men. I figured gay men would only want other non-trans gay men. Also, I didn't know anything about gay...
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