culture or how to even navigate gay male space to try and meet men. I didn’t know how to be a gay man, let alone attract a gay man.

Around that time I started attending a gay men’s coming out group that was meeting in the city. I didn’t say much in the group, I just came and listened to the other men talk about their experiences. It was a chance just to be in a safe, gay space. I was able to ask questions about sex and dating and I learned how to alter stories from my past to reflect my new gender. I gained confidence in my ability to pass, not only physically but socially as well. From there I started going to gay bars. Not to hook up, but just to be there, to be around gay men, again, to be in gay space that I felt safe navigating. I liked letting gay men flirt with me. It made me feel validated in my gender. I was too chicken to take any of them up on their offers of sex. I figured that as soon as they found out I was trans they would reject me and treat me very negatively. And for that moment in my transition, just being in gay space and getting attention and validation from gay men who didn’t know my trans status was enough for me. Eventually, I moved on from there gained the confidence to take further steps with sex and relationships.

It was overwhelming at first to have to switch over from straight men to gay men. I honestly didn’t think it was possible to attract a man with the body parts that I have/don’t have. But now, I don’t even notice straight guys anymore. Every so often I’ll see a guy that would have been just my type before transition, but I don't dwell...