We got back together after twenty two hours… We took things slower after that, and Allie started on hormones in November. I don’t really know when it happened, but somewhere along the line, we stopped being who we were “supposed” to be. She just started being who she always wanted to be and who she is: a girl. I guess when she did that, there was a void to be filled. There was no “masculine” presence to be the leader. It turned out that I wasn’t bothered by being a leader.

I present as a sometimes feminine, sometimes not, but always lady-like woman, but I have the foul mouth and attitude of a take-no-shit bull dyke. My partner is, in my eyes, a stunningly beautiful, slightly tomboyish, but still very feminine lesbian (and she just happens to have a permanently attached strap-on). This sweet girl has helped me to open up and really be myself. I’m not the aggressive “guy” in the relationship, but I embrace, celebrate, and do not try to be anything but the woman I am.

I have noticed most prevalently a general healthiness for myself, some of which can be attributed to having just come out of my teen years. But by the same token it can be attributed to the positive forces on my life. I consider my relationship with Allie to be an extremely positive one.

I don’t think it’s something that people would notice, per say, but rather that it is a confidence I see in myself that has other people perceiving a change in me. It’s the idea that if you’re happy with your own self image, people will see that and are more apt to believe that you look as good as you are projecting yourself to look.

But putting that aside, I don’t feel like anything all that dramatic has changed. My acne’s less pronounced, but I attribute that more to my age than anything. I’ve also lost some weight but that was done for my own desire to like how I looked. I don’t perceive any of these changes as special or unique to Allie and I. I see it as a condition that everyone experiences when they are in a relationship. Everyone tries to please their partner by looking their best. The only difference for Allie and I is that to look nice we BOTH happen to enjoy wearing a skirt or putting on makeup. Pleasing one’s partner is not a heterosexual condition alone, everyone does it. It’s just the how that differs.